Douchebag Decree: Dr. Pepper, Doucheologist and Men-Only Drink Specialist

Oh "light" beverages. When will you stop freaking out and shoving your unnecessarily constructed masculinity in our faces? The latest in this long line of I'm-so-manly-it's-sexist diet drinks (predecessors include Miller... Read more »

Douchebag Decree: Reebok EasyTone's Butt Claims Are Full of Shit

Remember Reebok's line of EasyTone shoes? The ones with the dry-heave-inducing commercials that claim to "make your boobs jealous" by toning your butt... Read more »

Douchebag Decree: TV Guide Declares Taraji P. Henson Not a "Person of Interest"

Oscar-nominated actor Taraji P. Henson stars in the new CBS drama Person of Interest, but you wouldn't know that if you asked TV Guide. Read more »

Douchebag Decree: Michele Bachmann and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad HPV Vaccine

Sometimes it seems futile to try and separate the wheat from the douche from week to week in politics. You just want to give up. I mean why... Read more »

Douchebag Decree: Billy Corgan Decides Transphobia is the Only Way to Get Attention

Billy Corgan continued his downward trajectory towards irrelevancy (wrestling, anyone?) last week by not only insulting, slandering and threatening violence against Portland-based guitar pedal maker Devi Ever, but by making some incredibly transphobic statements for all of the Internet to see. Read more »

Douchebag Decree: Bad Mothering Lawsuit

In 2009, two adult children filed a lawsuit to sue their mother, Kimberly Garrity, for more than $50,000 in "emotional distress" damages. At the time, twentysomething Steven II and eighteensomething Kathryn alleged their mother failed to do her motherly duties thereby accusing Kimberly Garrrity of... Read more »

Douchebag Decree: Southwest Airlines

When I heard that Southwest had done something appalling, my first thought was, "Again?" Read more »

Douchebag Decree: Jours Apr

I lived in France for a short time in my carefree younger days, and I have fond memories of their refreshing attitudes about sex (and also soft cheeses): Ne t'inquietes pas! C'est naturel! and so on. However, call it the American prude in me, but I am thoroughly creeped out by this new... Read more »

Douchebag Decree: New York Post

The New York Post likens the US stock market to "a hooker's drawers" with a "hooker" on its cover. Meanwhile, Rupert Murdoch is back in town. Read more »

Douchebag Decree: Birth Control Backlash

It's a little embarrassing to call out Fox News on the Douchebag Decree, because that channel is basically a love letter to this column: "Dear Douchebag Decree, I will always be... Read more »