Ever wonder how singles are chosen? All of these female or female-led artists have found some success... but not, strangely, with these songs. This week on BitchTapes, listen to the hits that should have been.
Thanks to Erika Tramonte for the mix's name!
1. "11:59" by Blondie
Not that the rockin' Parallel Lines needed another hit, but...
2. "I Have Everything" by Meredith Brooks
This alterna-popper is still only well-known for her #1, "Bitch." (Woot!)
3. "Womanizer" by Lily Allen
You read that right. Ms. Allen's take on this Britney tune is dark, and, in the words of Digital Spy, it "might provoke those who reckon [the song] doesn't have much of a chorus to revise their opinion."
4. "For Tonight You're Only Here to Know" by The Distillers
Like most of the songs on Coral Fang, I'm not sure what it's about, but damn, what a voice Brody has!
5. "Jeremy Engle" by Liz Phair
Phair has dozens of excellent non-album tracks that could hold their own on this list, but for the sake of brevity, here's one personal favorite.
6. "Artificial Sweetener" by No Doubt
Three cheers for Return of Saturn!
7. "Shit on the Radio" by Nelly Furtado
Unlike its fellow Fem Gems, this one actually was a single, but, despite the previous flourishing of "I'm Like a Bird" and "Turn Off the Light," it didn't go far. I suspect that the title had something to do with it, and if so, we may have moved in the right direction since...
8. "Rainbow Drive" by Blaque
The R&B group scored big with "Bring It All to Me" and the remix of "808," but their self-titled debut had plenty else going for it. This one, about a fictional utopia in which everybody got along, left me grimly amused: Despite being on a street by the same name, my middle school was nothing like that.
9. "Heartbreaker" by Pink
Speaking of artists with lots of amazing non-album tracks! This one is—yes, I have to say it—heartbreaking.
10. "Forgiven" by Alanis Morissette
Stunning. I've never understood why Morissette didn't just give this song to Dogma.
11. "Garden of Delights" by Lisa Loeb
Another of my all-time favorites, this is from the same album as the mega-smash "Stay."
12. "Superteen" by Care Bears on Fire
The trio has gotten deserved attention for "Everybody Else" and "ATM," but I've never understood why this tune wasn't all over the radio. I don't know about you, but I was not writing about cultural materialism when I was fourteen.
Et tu, partners in bitchdom?