Douchebag Decree: Douchebag Roundup


So many douchebags, so little time. This week, there were a number of worthy contenders, so let's take a look at them, shall we?

Adam White, the douchebag who outed an anonymous sex worker to her family on Twitter.

Via Jezebel: Oh man, Adam White, you are such a winner. The aspiring writer, brainchild of such venerable blogs as Reasons Why I Hate Girls and The 100 Girls, 100 Days Project, didn't like the fact that his acquaintance, the anonymous sex worker behind the Twitter handle TeleEroticist, was gaining accolade for her project. So, he took the logical next step of outing her as a phone sex operator to her family. TeleEroticist, in turn, took the situation under her control and outed herself on her formspring account.

Here's the kicker: On Jezebel, Irin Carmon contends that White outed TeleEroticist because he "simmered with resentment when her writing talents began to get notice" and "nothing annoyed him more than women who wrote about sex and became successful for it." To White's credit, though, he did admit to Carmon that he was being a douchebag and that he was "genuinely sorry". At least there's that.


Bill O'Reilly, the douchebag that thinks Jennifer Aniston is responsible for ruining the nuclear family

Via Broadsheet: Granted, nominating Bill O'Reilly for the Douchebag Decree is about as surprising as fireworks on the Fourth of July, but the conservative talking head deserves a mention for his charming comments about tabloid favorite Jennifer Aniston. On the press junket for her newest film, where she plays a woman who decides to have a baby without a man in her life, Aniston said,

Women are realizing it more and more knowing that they don't have to settle with a man just to have that child. Times have changed, and that is also what is amazing is that we do have so many options these days, as opposed to our parents' days when you can't have children because you have waited too long.

That's legit, right?! But O'Reilly seems to think Aniston is "throwing a message out to 12-year-olds and 13-year-olds that, 'Hey you don't need a guy. You don't need a dad.' That is destructive to our society." Aniston is forever ruining the societal structure, and we're heading towards some sort of evil feminist dystopia where we successfully eradicate all men. All women will be lesbians that get pregnant (only with girls!) by artificial insemination, and Aniston will be our leader.

Of course, though, what O'Reilly is really touching on is the idea that women don't need men to have children. But really, that wasn't what Aniston was saying at all. What she really meant can be best explained by her snarky response to People Magazine about O'Reilly's criticism:

Of course, the ideal scenario for parenting is obviously two parents of a mature age. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs on earth... And, of course, many women dream of finding Prince Charming (with fatherly instincts), but for those who've not yet found their Bill O'Reilly, I'm just glad science has provided a few other options.


Seth McFarlane, the douchebag that can't get it through his head that he is a douchebag

Details via Womanist Musings: Seth McFarlane thinks homosexuals are smart, but not smart enough to pick up on his oh-so-clever satire of trans people. I mean, as a straight cisgendered man, he would totally puke if he found out he slept with a transsexual, but in his defense, wouldn't gay men would too if they saw a vagina?! See Womanist Musings for a full breakdown of why, exactly, Seth McFarlane is oh-so-deserving of the title of Douchebag Decree.


Steven Meisel, the douchebag that thinks the oil spill in the Gulf is "edgy"

Vouge Italia Oil spill cover

The oil spill in the Gulf, what a perfect setting for a high fashion photo shoot! Steven Meisel is best known for his work in Madonna's Sex book (pretty safe to say that the link is NSFW!), and in a slew of other controversial photoshoots (also NSFW!) that depict the relationship between men and women in really problematic ways. His latest offense, though, puts decidedly dead-looking model Kristen McMenamy in the heart of one of the worst natural disasters in the history of the United States. It's supposed to be a commentary, and I suppose it is in the way that, as Lisa Wade put it on Sociological images, it depicts "the destruction of working-class people's livelihoods with obscenely expensive clothes designed primarily to enhance the status of elite fashion designers and the rich people who can wear them." Yeah, that's edgy, I guess.

(Dis)honorable Mention: The New Troll Dolls

new troll dolls

Via Sociological Images: Seriously, what the fuck is up with these new troll dolls? I seriously hope this isn't real!

by Katie Waldeck
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4 Comments Have Been Posted

re: New Trolls


Somehow, as douchetastic as all contenders involved are, that is the most upsetting thing I have seen in long time. Where are the genderless, only-clothed-for-theme's-sake, well-tummied Norfin trolls?! Who knew that the skinny Care Bears were just the start?

New Troll dolls

They look like a cross between Paris Hilton and the Bratz dolls.

Gee, I wonder why there are single mothers

I expect nothing more than complete stupidity from Fox. Maybe there are so many single mothers because there are so many men out there who get their partner pregnant, and don't want to be a father, and abandon them. 37% of women who are single mothers are not CHOOSING that, it's more like a majority of them don't have a choice.

And O'Reilly missed Aniston's point, that you shouldn't have to SETTLE (more emphasis please!) on a man to have a child. Because seriously, what's worse: Being a happy single parent, or raising a child with someone you really don't like. That's her point, that you shouldn't just have a baby with any ole man because he's available.

Sure, two parents are optimal, but it's not always possible. And really, Bill O'Reilly, I'm just suuuuuuure 12 and 13-year-olds are seriously going to listen to someone who is 41 about having children. 12 and 13-year-olds listen to Miley Cyrus, people who are their age. And even then, are they really going to understand the dynamics of having children? I don't think so. In fact, if they did, they might feel better knowing that if their partner abandons them with a baby or while pregnant it's possible to be a healthy, happy, successful parent.

I'm not saying all men abandon their families, but it happens. And that's partly why there are so many single mothers.

Huh. Who is the douchiest of them all?

Actually. It wasn't that hard to decide. Seth McFarlane. No dude angers me as this douche does. Plus he goes on to say something like "The trans community will be so HAPPY about this episode".

His new name should be Douche McJerKing

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