Most Bizarre and Desperate Reactions to the Royal Baby

The royal baby known as Simba.

Unless you managed to spend the better portion of today on a remote island, there's been no escaping the steady barrage of royal baby tweets and headlines commemorating the Cambridge couple's spawning.

With nearly every internet outlet taking the opportunity to broadcast their two pence, there are undoubtedly some glaring examples of less-than-newsworthy posts floating around. Here's what we gathered.

First and foremost, one website exists solely for the purpose of answering the most important question: Is there a royal baby? (Spoiler: There is.)

Which fits perfectly with a popular Twitter plea for Kate and Will to thrust their newborn high over the royal balcony, Circle of Life style. 

One Lion King tweet.

 Like, really popular. 

 More Lion King tweets.

The #LionKing hashtag is filled with more of the same.

And at the rate that the royal baby is taking over the Internet, it might not be long before we hear his take on being likened to Simba. No time was wasted in solidifying the Duke's place in history, online and otherwise, with a Wikipedia entry.

The Duke's Wiki cred.

And of course, countless parody Twitter accounts

Tweeting from the womb.

Some are so eager to imagine what the baby looks like that they've taken to Frankenstein-ing these nightmarish photoshop submissions

Royal photoshop.

Despite being less than several hours old, there is already public speculation as to who the as-of-yet unnamed prince will tie the knot withsort of. After all, what's any celebrity news without a little Illuminati conspiracy?

Royal Baby Illuminati Rumors
Inevitably, some saw the royal birth as an opportunity to further launch their product. Nabisco won in this arena for the most timely marketing campaign.

Oreo cashes in on Royal Birth.

And ABC Family made an effort to promote their somewhat appropriately themed program, Baby Daddy. 

ABC Promotes Baby Daddy

Meanwhile, ABC News banked in on mass-scale domesticity and encourages everyone to celebrate the occasion with some British recipes.

7 Royal Recipes

ABC also incorrectly postulated the baby's sex based on rather arbitrary and binarist observations about Kate's pregnant bodymostly that it was indeed pregnant.

How to tell if you're pregnant.

But perhaps my favorite of the royal birth's strange coverage comes from a mainstream newstream source: CNN. According to The Daily Beast and various tweets, the network didn't just congratulate Kate on having a baby, but more specifically on having a male baby her first go-round, swiftly reminding us that sexism has long outlived the decapitation-filled days of Henry VIII. 

Shelby tweets about CNN
Erin tweets about CNN

Now that we've all got that out of our system, let's get back to focusing on the ongoing sterilization of female inmates, or the Texas GOP's latest proposal to ban abortion at six weeksor anything else at all, really. 

by Marinda Valenti
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6 Comments Have Been Posted

As Rachel Maddow explained on

As Rachel Maddow explained on her Monday night show, the sex of the baby doesn't matter with the passage of the Succession to the Crown Act 2013. "Succession to the Crown not to depend on gender: In determining the succession to the Crown, the gender of a person born after 28 October 2011 does not give that person, or that person’s descendants, precedence over any other person (whenever born)."

Bonus: they can now marry Catholics.

Apparently, I'm living on an

Apparently, I'm living on an island. I had hardly heard anything about the prince baby until I read this very thorough article. :P Now I am infected.

My favorite part of the

My favorite part of the breaking news headline on CNN was the part about the baby being born vaginally. Like, right there, at the top of the page in bold, and now all I can think of is Kate's vagaina.

I am really happy to see some

I am really happy to see some REAL coverage of the insanity of all this. I think people need to critically examine why everyone is so obsessed with this 'royal' baby. Almost 370,000 babies were born this same day...many with small chance at a good education, adequate food, healthcare, etc. While it's important to stay positive, and the birth of a baby is always a beautiful thing, the point is bigger than 'the baby.' It is about our celebrity obsessed culture, which DISTRACTS us (not gives us 'hope' as some were saying...again...why is this baby more hopeful than any other) from that which is of true importance. Please, is there anyone sane out there?

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