You know that feeling you get when you have unprotected sex with the Governor's daughter, the two of you have a baby, and you become a national punchline? Well, next time you find yourself in that awkward situation, take a cue from teen dad Levi Johnston and turn your regrets into something positive: pistachios.
Wow. I guess the message here is that eating pistachios is basically the same thing as having sex, and that having unprotected sex that results in an unplanned pregnancy is not only hilarious, it is also lucrative. Oh, and it doesn't really matter whether or not you use protection during sex, but you'd sure as hell better have a bodyguard with you if you're going to eat a pistachio.
Am I alone in being confused by this ad? Why on earth did the pistachio people think that Levi Johnston was a good candidate to help them sell their nuts? Making jokes about unprotected sex wouldn''t convince me to buy anything except for condoms (and a time machine for Johnston, if one were available). And is the "Get Crackin'" slogan supposed to be sexy? DON'T TRY TO MAKE PISTACHIOS SEXY. They just aren't. And neither is unprotected teen sex with Sarah Palin's daughter. Gross.