Wedding season is upon us again, but instead of focusing on that bridesmaid's dress fitting your cousin will kill you if you don't attend, why don't you focus on the only marriage that America cares about? You guessed it, the OBAMA MARRIAGE (that's right; it's in caps because it is so unbelievably important). Whether it's because they love to love it or love to hate it, members of the media can't seem to get enough of the OBAMA MARRIAGE lately. Some fun facts:
The Obamas go on dates!
Sometimes these dates happen in Paris!
Some husbands think Barack Obama is ruining their marriages by going on these dates!
Some single women are looking for their own Barack to take them on dates!
Back in the year 2000 (remember way back then?) the OBAMA MARRIAGE was in trouble! Could it be because they weren't going on enough dates?!?
At any rate, the media wants to go on a big, fat date with the OBAMA MARRIAGE and either propose to it and embarrass it in front of the whole restaurant, or stand it up and embarrass it in front of the whole restaurant, depending on who you ask. Why is that? Well, the reason behind it all is most likely that, a) Barack Obama made his marriage to Michelle and his commitment to his family a large part of his campaign for the presidency, b) the U.S. has had some pretty boring/crappy marriages in the White House over the years, and c) the Obamas are kind of hot. But reasoning aside, obsession with the OBAMA MARRIAGE is sweeping the nation and dividing us into three separate camps: The Lovers, The Haters, and The Republicans. Which are you? The Lovers Members of this camp are waaaay into talking about the OBAMA MARRIAGE and how awesome it is. They love to read about the date nights, the romantic slow dances, and the strolls along the Seine. Media coverage of The Lovers skews decidedly female, publishing articles like "What Single Women Can Learn From Michelle," Jenée Desmond-Harris's piece on finding your own Barack. Celebrity members include: Joy Behar, Beyonce Knowles, and OPRAH Camp Song: "You and I" by Stevie Wonder (OMG it was the Obamas' wedding song!) The Haters Members of this camp seem to be mainly single whiners who are tired of hearing about how awesome the OBAMA MARRIAGE is. Either that, or they are married whiners who are jealous of how easy the Obamas appear to have it (what with the private jets and all). While media for The Lovers may be gendered female, articles by and for The Haters are gendered male, the best example being Sean Gregory's piece in Time yesterday, "Barack Obama, Stop Ruining My Marriage." Why Gregory thinks he is being compared to Obama is a mystery, but the gist of the article is that Barack Obama is making America's husbands look bad by being too attentive to Michelle, and the comparison just isn't fair. (It also doesn't exist, except for in the minds of egotistical Haters.) Celebrity members include: Jon Stewart, Harry Reid Camp song:"Hey Jealousy" by The Gin Blossoms The Republicans Members of this camp are mostly, well, Republicans, who think that the OBAMA MARRIAGE is a frivolous waste of media time and taxpayer money. They also believe that the journalists are too easy on the Obamas in general, as detailed in this San Francisco Gate article, "Love or lust, Obama and the fawning press need to get a room." Celebrity members include: Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney, and Ann Coulter (sounds like a fun camp, right?) Camp song: "Let the Eagle Soar" by John Ashcroft So whether you are a Lover who is happy that the Obamas are hot, a Hater who is jealous that the Obamas are hot, or a Republican who listens to John Ashcroft songs to forget that the Obamas are hot, you can't deny that the media is crazy about the OBAMA MARRIAGE. Next thing you know they'll have a Brangelina-style nickname (Bachelle? Mirack? Meh, maybe they won't.) Which camp are you in? And why do you think the media loves to cover the OBAMA MARRIAGE?