The other day I was alone in the car and, as you do, singing at the top of my lungs with the radio. The song that was the focus of this particular private performance happened to be Lil' Wayne's "Lollipop" and as I belted out the lyrics, Middle of the bed/ Givin' gettin' head my thoughts turned to oral sex. More specifically, my thoughts turned to songs about oral sex. I wondered, "What songs are out there that give oral love a good name?"
Now, your first thought here might be, "Get your mind out of the gutter and focus on driving!" And your next thought might be, "Why should we care about songs that focus on oral sex?" To your first thought I say don't worry; I didn't take my eyes off the road once during my oral sex-y brainstorming session. And to your second thought I say, if we can agree that the mass media can affect public perceptions, then it stands to reason that songs that put oral sex in a positive light can affect public perceptions of the act in a positive way. (Read: The more songs that make oral sex seem fun and cool, the more oral sex we will all give/get, and the better we'll feel about it.) This is a good thing for all parties involved, but it is an especially big win for women. That's because the media often suggests that women can orgasm very easily from penetration alone, yet just about anyone who has had sex with/is a woman knows that it often takes a lot more than that.
So what are the best oral-sex-positive jams?
Warning: The following post may be NSFW, depending on where you W.
I figured we'd start out here with a list of ten songs that are mainly about oral sex (that means no vague euphemisms or veiled symbolism -- we're looking for the real deal here), and then you can add to it in the comments section. I'll grade each song based on the portrayal of oral sex it offers up, with bonus points awarded for mutual pleasure-giving. Feel free to dispute the grades and give your own, of course. (If you're not sure how a song goes, click on the embedded links to listen to each tune and see the video if there is one.) Keep in mind that we're looking mainly for songs that make oral sex seem fun, cool, and non-creepy, so songs that objectify/subjugate the sex partner in question will be severely downgraded, or not graded at all. Also, I made a concerted effort to include songs from several genres, and to alternate between male and female lyricists. The more equality, the better, right? And... Here we go!
The Song: "Lollipop" by Lil' Wayne
The Premise: Lil' Wayne is so enamored of a particular woman that he writes a song about their relationship and sex life, complete with lots of lollipop lickin'.
Oral Sex-y Lyric: But man I ain't never seen an ass like hers/ That pussy in my mouth had me at a loss for words
Grade: A. Weezy is also all about both partners getting their just desserts in this song, so to speak.
The Song: "Work It" by Missy Elliott
The Premise: Missy Elliott has a lot to offer, especially to guys with (ahem) oral talents.
Oral Sex-y Lyric: Go downtown and eat it like a vulcha/ See my hips and my tips don't cha/ See my ass and my lips don't cha
Grade: B. While Miss Missy gives oral sex a positive spin for the ladies to be sure, she doesn't much mention reciprocating the act.
The Song: "Head" by Prince & The Revolution
The Premise: Kind of a weird one. Prince encounters a bride on her way to the altar, and she is so taken by him that she decides to forgo getting married and go down on Prince instead. They end up getting married, and then he returns the favor. You know, just the way you've always imagined your own wedding day playing out.
Oral Sex-y Lyric: U married me instead/ Now morning noon and night/ I give U head
Grade: B-. Sure, Prince is all about mutual pleasure, but he insists that the woman marry him before he'll go down on her. Puritan.
The Song: "My Neck My Back" by Khia
The Premise: Khia is on the prowl, and she requires some serious oral attention. Really.
Oral Sex-y Lyric: So lick it now, lick it good/ Lick this pussy just like you should
Grade: B. Khia is mostly about getting oral (as opposed to giving), but she gets extra credit for inviting all women to follow her example.
The Song: "Kiss That Frog" by Peter Gabriel
The Premise: Peter Gabriel is a frog prince, and he needs you to kiss him (downtown, of course) in order for him to turn into a prince. (I know I said no euphemisms, but this one is so obvious I made an exception.)
Oral Sex-y Lyric: Let me introduce his frogness/ You alone can get him singing/ He's all puffed up, wanna be your king/ Oh you can do it/ C'mon lady kiss that frog
Grade: C. Though Gabriel does include lyrics about being "best friends" and about his princess "getting wet," most of this song reads like a textbook but-if-you-don't-do-it-I'll-get-blueballs excuse. No thanks, "King" Gabriel.
The Song: "Downtown" by Peaches
The Premise: The teaches of Peaches include oral-sex lessons, naturally.
Oral Sex-y Lyric: 'Cause I wanna take you downtown/ Show you my thing/ Show you my thing
Grade: A. Not only is Peaches all about coming/going downtown, she also wants to teach her partner the ways she likes it, and she wants to reciprocate in a big way. Check out this lyric for evidence: Went to your area and I thought I would bury ya/ Touched a monolith and it caused a hysteria (tee hee, "monolith").
The Song: "Just Like Honey" by The Jesus & Mary Chain
The Premise: Boy meets girl, boy thinks girl tastes delicious, boy loses girl, boy writes touching song referencing said deliciousness in order to win girl back.
Oral Sex-y Lyric: Moving up and so alive/ In her honey dripping beehive/ Beehive/ It's good, so good, it's so good
Grade: C. I love this song, but the oral-sex message is a little too vague for this particular grading rubric.
The Song: "Not Tonight" by Lil' Kim
The Premise: Lil' Kim has been with plenty of guys who think she should be satisfied with straight-up penetrative sex. In this song she lets them know how wrong they are, and that they'd better go down on her ASAP if they want another shot.
Oral Sex-y Lyric: The moral of the story is this/ You aint lickin' this, you aint stickin' this
Grade: B+. Though Kim sings this song from a pretty selfish place, she also gives a voice to a problem many women face: Even though media portrayals would have us thinking otherwise, the majority of women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone, and that is a difficult topic for many women to address with their partners. Looks like we can always count on the Queen Bee to write songs about unspeakable problems. Is it too much to call her the Betty Friedan of hip hop music? (Maybe. Still a good song, though.)
The Song: "Summer of 69" by Bryan Adams
The Premise: Maybe this song, which if you're like me you've joked was about oral sex ever since middle school, actually is about the other kind of 69 (you know, the oral-sex kind, not the kind that indicates the year my mom graduated from high school). According to Adam Brown's article for Cracked, "6 Famous Songs That Don't Mean What You Think They Mean," Adams said: "One thing people never got was that the song isn't about the year 1969. It's about making love, a la '69!"
Oral Sex-y Lyric: Man we were killin' time/ We were young and restless/ We needed to unwind
Grade: C. Again, this song just isn't obvious enough in its oral-sex-positiveness. Plus, it's getting a little old.
The Song: "Where Life Begins" by Madonna
The Premise: Madonna speaks up about going down.
Oral Sex-y Lyric: Every girl should experience eating out/ Sometimes when I come home from a hard day at work/ I swear it's all I can think about
Grade: B+. This song, similar to "Downtown," is all about educating sex partners to the joys of "Dining in and eating out" ("Where Life Begins" describes oral sex in sooo many ways), which is great. I deducted a few points though, for the "Finger lickin' good" lyric. Vaginas are not fried chicken, thank you very much.
So there you have it, ten oral-sex-positive jams. Perhaps you can compile them into a mixtape for your next big date! A fun time is guaranteed for all involved.
Honorable Mentions (because I only had time for ten songs this go 'round, and a few of these were disqualified due to misogyny):
"Peaches and Cream" by 112
"I'd Rather" by Three 6 Mafia
"How Many Licks" by Lil' Kim
"Just Don't Bite It" by N.W.A.
"Love in an Elevator" by Aerosmith
"LMLYP" by Ween
"Put it in Your Mouth" by Akinyele
Did anyone else notice that most of the songs by women/about performing oral sex on women fit into the hip hop/R&B category? Do you think that is just a reflection of my own musical tastes, or do you think the R&B genre allows for freer and more sex-positive lyrics? Are there any women in rock or country (or another other genre besides hip hop) that speak as frankly about oral sex as Lil' Kim or Khia? Can you think of any male performers outside of hip hop/R&B who are as down with going down as Lil' Wayne or Prince? Or should we all just listen exclusively to R&B music? (Could be worse; R&B is awesome after all).
Make sure to give your thoughts and add your own aural oral suggestions in the comments section!